Looking back on the track.

Looking back on the track

after waking up, afer a while i realised id been sat on the end of my bed with my head dangling down just above my thighs and i think i had yeah i did my hands pressing in on my eyes softly, not hard, for well some time,

just zoned out for a bit, staring at the patterns and instead of feeling hatred to the world,

i felt sad and lonely

(but thats actually great)

in fact i dont feel that lonely anymore (i mean im still going to go live in a squat somewhere and try and meet some friendly peoples in london - but i feel ok about well, i feel okay about being on my own)

so much better than angry (ok feeling sad and blue aint that attractive to a lot of people but well i dont care about that- feeling a little blue i can deal with,

i feel like a bit of a drip,

well a completely soft drip, but thats so much better than how ive been feeling for the last week, coss now i dont hate people or the world, or you, or myself, anymore,

i feel i can still be myself and all will be cool,

i was thinking,

stepping out in the world to meet new people and try and make friends whilst harbouring an inner attitude of, being a closed book, a non talker, a non sharer, whilst full of hate, and wanting to smash everything, would be a bit of a tricky conundrum,

in fact i aint even sure if what im feeling now is that sad and blue, it is a bit drippy, way drippy

but its more of an oh well feeling,

oh well, oh well...

ahh its actually quite nice,

really nice, phew, as if i was starting on people and spouting messages of hate, and thinking my life was now going to be hate fuelled rather than love fuelled forever,


ast week has got to be the biggest blip in my life ever to date, good for experience though i guess, i feel completely removed from being dead, or like a serf, just ghosting through life, i feel alive, and never i knew i had such strong emotions inside

looking back on this today, its like again, these feelings seem to spin and change, never have the words swings and roundabouts, helicopters, nurses, doctors, meant so much to my way, unless ive forgoten, due to be constantly suprised, perhaps theyve always meant the same, i just never knew it, or i did know it, and well my eyes keep opening and closing like blinks, i no longer have the blinkers on, yo yo,
so i was feeling like a complete drip, i think i just keep changing day to day, im hoping that everyone else does too, because its true every day is brand spanking new, and what i found is that bright tomorow that your waiting for, to come and take you away into another place, well its already, shining and its here, you got to laugh really, i mean its life, its living, its amazing, a flexible mind, i never thought id set things in stone, then i never thought that the thoughts i set in stone could be changed, now i think, hakuna matata, it means no worries for the rest of your days, thats of course unless theres a sitution that demands you are brave

we the people
we have power
to change

; )