Trained in Nazi death camps.

Trained in Nazi death camps.

Once when I was 12 I farted out loud on a school trip to Worth Abbey, Worth Abbey by the way is a real hot spot for monks.

We were in this quite large carpeted room and all the school kids were sat down many of who were cross legged upon the carpet floor,

I myself was sat behind everyone at the back of the room,

Well almost everyone, luckily there was this elderly priest who was sat in a chair behind me,

Looking back these events might actually have been funnier if I had been sat amongst the middle of everyone in the room and hadn't skipped beans for breakfast, total annihilation.

Anyway we were all facing this monk at the front of the room who was telling us something about bees, honey or the true meaning of life, I can't recall which.

When suddenly I think unexpectedly I emitted the loudest of farts, it was an atmospheric destroyer.

On the sound of my trumpeting fart erupting into the room,

brrpppphhhaaarp!

every single kids head spun back quick as a flash. They were all dying to see who it was, that as the saying accurately goes had let rip,

I however was quick on my seat, only a split second after releasing my fart; I quickly turned back my head to look at the innocent priest who was sitting behind me

Which now meant that everybody including myself,

I hereby for the first time in the history of the Worth Abbey atmospheric destroyer incident of 1996 publically hold my hands up as the guilty farter,

Was looking at this rather bemused and increasingly embarrassed priest.

Giggles of course broke out instantly, as did shared looks between friends, some smiling, others mouths curling down in distaste,

What started as giggles soon became mass hysteria and the more everybody laughed the more the patches of red upon the innocent priests face blossomed.

I believe that priest still rues to this day the moment he crossed paths with the atmospheric destroyer.

Thank you Nazi death camp.

Oh I nearly forgot the final part of the story, any resulting smell as a consequence of the farts fall out effects would certainly be considered, the coup de grace.

This just leaves me to say in the spirit of freedom fighters all over the globe, fill your nostrils.

p.s Only fools say the devils work is never done. Big fat smiley face.