Sparkles.

Les spark.

A sparkling little star, how I am surprised what you are.

Up over the world crocodiles are flying, you can see diamonds in their eyes are shiny.

In the beginning was Udder.

Udder the giant space cow, the first I suppose you could call her living thing, being, to arrive as if by magic out of the nothingness.

I guess it was a bit like a rabbit out of a hat, or a mushroom out of the mud. For a long time just blackness and then suddenly magically.

Born unlike any other cow you may have encountered in your life was, Udder the giant moo cow.

Udder was never a calf. Udder arrived fully grown, bigger than any sun, bigger even than a galaxy, hard to imagine that sort of size I know.

According to Jack Kerouac there are billions more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand upon a beach.

Whatever way you picture it it's safe to say... Udder is.

Scientists upon the planet earth believe that the universe started from the big bang and that there is no such thing as God, unfortunately for them and their diligent followers, they are wrong.

Udder the space cow flew through the nothingness of space, and thought all was good, well a more truthful interpretation is that she didn't think much of anything at all, she just went Moo.

Until there came a moment when she noticed around her neck there was a bell, which went clunk clunk, as soon as it went clunk clunk...

Clunk clunk!

God appeared.

Who in fact was Goddess...



You see Goddess is a cow girl, and Goddess of course, has no idea who or what this God is that people on the Earth are praying too, that's because Goddess spends all her time looking after Udder, and can't hear people on earth's prayers over all the milk, moo's and clunk clunks.

Apparently nowadays on the Earth, there's no longer any such term as actresses, they are all known in respected circles as actors.

Strange how things go round in cycles, like rickshaws', washing machines, terminologies, goddesses turning into gods, then back to goddesses again, and this actress thing, in Shakespeare's times women would be played by men, rampant rabbits and lesbianism alas still a few centuries away.

No actresses upon Shakespeare's stage only actors, what an odd way to behave, thankfully the washing machine that is the universe is happily set to spin.

Far bigger even than udder the giant moo cow is Goddess the Cow girl, who in the nothingness of space looks after udder and keeps her safe, and every so often crouches down under udder to milk her.

A long time ago, from each of udders teat's, apart from the really hard to reach one at the back, milk flowed and turned into the vast array of galaxies,

Some of which you will get to see, and some of which you won't, unless you are one of those rare travellers, that gets to see them all,

For example the occupants of the spaceship Mother Foxx, have encountered a whole host of galaxies. Some containing vast wonderments such as Belt-shaped eruptive fountains, and open truck dismissal aero cars.

In one galaxy the Mother Foxx found there was an inter-galactic equivalent of an Earth University lecture taking place. Where no lie the topics discussed were for starters,

Sammy the Davis junior trigger money top grade lucky strike leaps, and after a short break, a discussion about the present bounds within time space continuum progresses, conducted by a man who looked remarkably like, Santa Claus.

Right this moment in the galaxy of Far Flung the big news is that the universally famous fuzzy space golf champion Junior flip flops, has retired early to begin a campaign to raise money for ex super heroes.

What a guy.

Of course many galaxies are filled with just the usual type of thing, aliens flying cars, floating rocks, trampolines, bottles of speed and sew on and sew on.

Some of the milk which flowed out of udder the giant space cow became the galaxy known as the Milky Way, inside this galaxy amongst a whole load of other junk, was a little blue and green floating ball known roundabouts as the Earth.

The Earths inhabitants usually wonderfully inventive,

For example they like to act out plays, make films, design sets, write, draw, create and are always coming up with all manner of ingenious ideas, such as money, boats or kettles, really dropped the ball on naming their planet.

The Earth, or as it's become known in urban slang the Ear TH, was so named by early inhabitants because it's mainly mud, which as well as being a poor name also turned out to be wrong.

The Ear TH is in fact mainly water, a bit like its inhabitants the human beans, who funnily enough are most closely related to not simians as previously was thought by evolutionist's, but cucumbers, who share the same water to body mass ratio of 60%.

Upon their earth the human cucumbers carry out the Earth's desires for plastic by making ton after ton of the stuff, thanks to George Carlin for that one. They also help the Earth in its desire to be rid of all the pesky oil which none of the Earth's diet plans so far have been able to shift,

If everybody, everything, every person, every creature, every plant, stopped moving, breathing, working, growing, just became still, silent and made no noise at all then you could hear, if you listened carefully and quietly, the earth talking to the moon,

"Oh moon you are so sleek and lovely, how do you do it"

.."Because I am the moon"

In fact it was the new human bean diet plan

"Shift all that unwanted oil in five simple millennia"

Given to the Earth by the moon that sparked the earth into creating humans in the first place.

There's a saying that goes, the grass is always greener on the other side, well not on the moon it's not, there's no grass.

Having the beautiful moon in such close proximity maybe explains why the Earth in its envy is striving to achieve for itself the moons more stream lined minimalistic look, you know lose a couple billion pounds, no more water no more trees.


It's funny in the year 2010 apparently a lot of humans became more worried about dwindling resources yet a sport named formula one or Grand Prix still existed,

Grand Prix was an event where a number of people would race cars, wow, cars.. woah, what a bygone age, repeatedly round and round a track for a certain number of laps.

Cars by the way, in case you didn't know, used oil as fuel, which I guess would lead you to think that a Grand Prix event would only be done by people if their oil amounts were bountiful.

That's if they had a whole lot going spare, oil you might say coming out of their ears. This was not the case but most human's attitude to the whole running out of resources thing was

"Ah well fuck it".

Which was a good attitude to take, because little did anybody know that a giant whale full of oil was soon to drop out of space and onto the earth with a crash bang,
Splosh!

It does make you wonder or at least makes me wonder why no-one in the crowd at a grand prix race ever shouted out

"Oi don't you know we're running out of oil".

I mean just for comedic effect it's wonderful.

It's also a wonder that people believe they are living on the Earth when in fact they could just as easily be living on the moon.

...Shafiah often wondered.

Earlier today as she showed a neighbour who lived a few doors down the road how to make chapattis, and wonderful curries filled with spices, paprika, garam masala, tomatoes, garlic, fresh ginger and a mix of long intoxicating green and red chillies she wondered whether she was awake or asleep.

In her mind she was in love with electricity.

Above everything else she loved the way the world or at least her world looked at night.

In Shafiah's eyes the day was just a warm up for night time, where everything isn't it odd how this is the opposite of the case would blossom into life.

Shafiah would wonder.

"Electric lamps on, for who?...

Me"

As she walked down the roads with not a soul in sight, amazing things basking in electric, lapping up light like lizards sitting in the sun became Shafiah's world.

An upturned wheelbarrow here, a brickworks pattern there.

"Everything is so much more beautiful at night" Shafiah decided in her head.

Then she remembered to look up.

What did she see?

A sky with a few slender wisps of cloud, all the stars and a big fat moon. Even more beautiful than what she had been looking at before.

Shafiah let herself become free, her steps began to bounce and she hung her head back as she strolled so she could gaze at the sky in wonder,

"So beautiful. So so beautiful." She whispered in awe.

Shafiah had been walking with her head hung back for so long lost in trance to the night sky's wonder, that she hadn't realised her bouncing feet had taken her all the way to the local park.

Of course she finally had to take her head out of the clouds, why I do not know, to come back down to the earth and realised in the middle of the night,

That she had walked into the middle of the big field, at the centre of the local park.

Lots of people kept away from the park at night, they were scared of all the muggers, knife attacks, aliens disguised as planes and tramps being burnt,

Shafiah was never scared, all she ever found in the park at night were her friends, or if she was alone, foxes and every so often some kids who were just hanging out.

That night Shafiah looked all around the park and saw she was alone the only person underneath the stars, she spun round and round and round until she couldn't get anymore dizzy,

Then let her head hang back so she could watch the stars the moon and sky swirl round in a natural kaleidoscope making the whole night move together like water spiralling down a plug.

"Beautiful" she said for the third time.

"Woi-Oi" Came a deep voice from above.

Shafiah jumped a little, she thought she was alone but

Thump,

A man jumped out of a nearby tree, and landed with a thud feet first on the ground.
"Wow I love spinning around and looking at the stars too" the man who jumped out of the tree said,

"My names Ralph by the way"

"Shafiah" Shafiah replied politely, then paused and said,

"Err I've got to ask why the tree",

"Oh you know, I like trees, I like sleeping in trees"

Shafiah suddenly had the strongest feeling of déjà vu,

She laughed out loud,

"You like sleeping in trees, huh, nice"

"Yeah, and I love the park, especially at night all the lights I think it's,
"Beautiful" Shafiah said at the same time as Ralph.

They both looked at each other and cracked into smiles, they sat down upon the grass in the park and talked and laughed without keeping track of time, until the stars fell for those two humans who were both in love with electricity.

The stars winked their magic onto Shafiah and Ralph, and turned them both into Swans.

Choo-ka-ca-choo imagine you just got back from a restaurant woah, hi there, thanks for reading, were nearly at the end of Shafiah's story now, I hope you had something nice to eat or that there's somebody nearby with something nice to eat for you
choo-ka-ca-choo, the bill please, meanwhile,

If you yourself go down to the local park where these events took place, be in for a big surprise, for you might meet Shafiah and Ralph,

they can usually be found floating on some water, chatting in Swan language about whether the stars are in fact crocodiles, and the moon a torch which shines, and if you are really lucky or deep yourself in love with electricity, the stars may wink there magic upon you

and who knows what might happen next.

Well not Goddess that's for sure she's too busy with clunk-clunk milk and moos.
I would like to leave you beautiful reader with eyes so sparkly with that well known space proverb...


The spoon is always darker on the other side.

The End.

...Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky!

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.



In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveller in the dark,-
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star

...The flash, the flash, the little star, how do I want to know that any you are! Is so high above the world, likely in sky diamond!Little ASTRE glows, glows, how I am aroused curiosity what you are! On above the world as high, as a diamond in the sky!Flutter, flutter, little star, how I wonder what you are! To the top of above the so high world, like a diamond in the sky!Sparkles, a sparkling, little star, how I am surprised, what you are! Up over the world so highly, how a diamond in the sky![Astrapste], [astrapste], little star, how I wonder what you are! Above the world so much high, as a diamond in the sky!Flashing, flashing, little star, as I wonder what you are! Over on the world thus on, like a diamond in the sky!I how think certain ones in doubt, to glitter, glitter, a little the star! With respect to the world like the diamond of the sky it probably will promote, it is high!You is this and goes out and the method which tries to think, flicker and flicker, writes the star! which The diamond which is to sky up of the world is high together and side with is like this height!Twinkle, twinkle, little star, as I want to know what you are! Above the world so highly, as a diamond in the sky!Luster, luster, [menshyaya] star, as I interest than you! Upward on above to peace it is so high as diamond in the sky!Flashing, flashing, little star, how I ask myself which you are! It raises envelope of the world so arrives, as a diamond in the sky!

The real end, in a while mushroom child.