My letter to Lisa.

Hey Lisa,

Happy New Year

I just popped over to your place to see you, but got to admit I was a wee bit disorientated and that’s not just because I left Ori-mental Road. The digger has vanished, as well as the scaffolding, so I couldn’t work out which door was yours.

I peeped through some kitchen windows but alas no ice cream maker could I see or anything else belonging to Max for that matter, unless he owns the glass in the window

I’m pretty sure I used to use the song that Barney sang in the Simpsons Barbershop Quartet episode to remember your house number it was a parody of the Beatles track revolution9

It goes,

"Number eight, eurgh, number eight eurgh...

Unfortunately I might have mistakenly knocked on number nines door, which is ironic because the Beatles song goes,

"Number nine....number nine..."

needless to say it wasn’t your lovely self that greeted me, but two dudes, who may or may not have been Irish,

they were pleasant enough and said that you had never moved in, that you were students, and that you have moved out, but they were talking about a Lisa with the second name Simmons and I don’t know who that is,

in reality it was all pretty confusing,

I told them I was sorry to trouble them, and one of them was nice enough to pat me on the back and say

“No worries mate”

So that was alright,

Anyway enough with the comedic waffle, I high tailed it out of there and my message for you is

Give me a ring not a wedding one I mean a bell you know a bone woah is that moving too fast i mean a jingle you know call me,

I’ve found something you might find fun to do...

Letter ends

Or does it?

No it does

Really

Yes really

You idiot - that’s me I’m talking about not you

p.s

What a goof...

Letter ends

I could go on

No seriously stop it now

Letter ends

Good

Damn it!

Letter ends

Why I aught ta

Right if you don’t stop with this message ends nonsense I’m going chuck this keyboard at your head...

...

...

...

Are you still there?

Got yah!

Bastard!

Letter ends.