Natural Depression.

Natural Depression

I dont know if I can help you, but id like to try.

Its good to talk about it.  Especially if you can talk to a professional like a mentor/teacher or even a health care worker.  These are people who have experience and that you can trust to keep everything you share confidential.  It would be nice to be able to trust friends and family, and more often or not you can, but there's nothing to stop a friend or family, sharing what you tell them by accident, (or not being able to understand or be particular helpful to you) which is why chatting to a professional can be really good.  Sometimes just chatting to a stranger can help too.

I think one of the first things to say is you don't have to beat yourself up about being depressed or suicidal, these thoughts, feelings, emotions, or mind set are a perfectly natural part of being human.

Id also like to share that I have been through life with periods of major depression, have often had suicidal thoughts (I still do) and have attempted to commit suicide.

Were not the same so I cant really suggest what would work for you but I can share what worked or helped me out, for starters when I was depressed about life and living on or in this world, something that would make me more depressed would be looking around and comparing my situation with other peoples, and then deciding i had no right to be feeling depressed, i would also think it was wrong to be feeling depressed which would add to my depression, when i came to the conclusion that being depressed actually meant im a human being with a the ability to feel, and think and have emotions and that depression is a totally natural part of the experience of life, i stopped seeing my depression as something that was wrong with me, or a negative thing, i saw it as positive,

Being depressed shows that im not a robot, im a living breathing person with a heart mind and feelings.

I think you probably should tell your mentor when you go back to school.  I really believe these thoughts that people have should be shared and brought out into the open.  Its amazing to find that a lot of people have similar problems and thoughts and this sharing of an experience can be comforting, it can also lead to further understanding about ourselves and the human condition.

I have only ever self harmed my body by stubbing out cig

on my skin

again I dont know your situation, or what is best for you, but i do see self harm like an addiction, or a drug, the way i look at life most people need something in order to get through the day feeling good about themselves or about the world and life in general,

For example if i was to stay in my room, not working, not hanging out with anyone but myself, not moving about much, not really eating well, and just thinking then going to sleep, and repeating this, i would probably end up thinking more and more negatively, and eventually start thinking more and more about suicide, i dont know how many people there are that can go through life without something, most people need something,

For some people that something is t.v,
for others it might be something creative like painting or writing,
for some it might be their work, others have a sport they like to play, or a book group, or reading, or listening to music or playing music, i class all these things as drugs,

If someone winds down or gets enjoyment from life by playing golf and seeing there golf buddies, then golf is their drug (it might not be the only drug they do) which is fair enough i dont play golf myself, but i can see that playing golf isn't going to be particular harmful to the body or mind, in fact maybe beneficial.

on the other hand someones drug of choice might be something like crack cocaine or heroin, again fair enough, but these drugs have a downside in that they can hurt the body physically and mentaly and also have negative impacts on friends and family


I sort of think self harms the same, it can be just addictive as any drug, (golf included) with ciggerete burns i enjoyed the different levels of pain, what i call waves as i pushed the stub further into my skin, the sound the smell, all apart of the experience then the feeling when i removed it, clear, a lot of people i chat to about this, don't seem to get, the sense of regret that i describe when the pain plateaus then subsides, they seem to think that the pain would be the most horrible thing and it going the best, but i always felt that the pain was the best part and when it left i was left with regret, a bit like the intense sting in the middle of a Chinese burn being the most exiting part with the most energy and then when it fades and finally is gone... oh...

then of course there is the beauty in a blister bubble, or scab or whatever, and the eventual mark, and the way the mark changes over time, there were lots of things i liked about my hobby (or drug) of stubbing out ciggies on myself,

but one day i realized it was like a drug, and one that was hurting my body, i could see it hurting my body, so i stopped,

Im lucky ive not got an addictive personality, i dabble in things, and when i feel there getting a hold over me or im dependent on them (or become addicted to them) i stop and change

You might have an addictive personality or you might not
but if you do want to or end up stopping self harming yourself, you may find it helps to be aware that you'll probably going to have to find something else to do instead, because they'll be a gap of time and also a gap in feelings to fill,

its up to you to decide if you want to stop self harming and if so what it is you replace it with, and whether the thing you replace it with is good or bad for your health,

Its a shame when our minds turn us into slaves or constantly fill our heads with negative thoughts about living and the world in general.  It can be a tricky process to get out off.  Dont worry, you can get out of it.

There are many ways.  Some of them might work for you, some of them might not.  It might take a little bit of experementing and a little bit of effort.

A great first step is sharing, talking about your thoughts with others, and seeing if they have been through something similar or have any thoughts of their own, or a different perspective.

I remember chatting to a friend, and asking so how often do you think about suicide or killing yourself, he replied that he had or does but very very rarely, like maybe once or twice in the last five years, to be honest i was a bit shocked and told him whoa, i think about it a lot, or a least i think about death a lot, and maybe killing myself like well definitely a lot more than that.  But that was totally ok.  It just showed how our minds worked a bit differently, and although he might not have been able to understand the way my mind worked, it was reassuring to tell him about it, and i think it was also beneficial to put him in the picture.

I definitely believe its healthier to be open about these sorts of things rather than hiding them away or keeping them a secret.

Some practical things that have worked for me, especially with depression, was getting slowly and surely more active, i began this with taking a walk to the local park everyday and sitting on a bench, i would sit until someone came and sat on the bench or a bench nearby, (this was actually hard - as i was scarred to go out of my front door, into the world, let alone interact with people, whether i knew them or not, or even more so with people i know) but i knew it was a step i had to take,

Just going for a walk and changing your environment, one place from another can help get out of depression, chatting to a person on a bench only for a minute or so also helped me alot.

I then started to go swimming once a week.  Physical exercise really helps, (especially with shutting the mind off - and getting the mind to stop with its negative thoughts is a big help in getting out of depression)

Swimming also helped because i was in an environment with other people, but there was no chatting or interaction really, if i just wanted to swim up and down i could swim up and down without even saying hello to anyone, which is what must people do, and is exactly what i wanted to do, it also helped because  i was in a place where a lot more of my body was on show, then would normally be on show, the more and more i went swimming the more and more comfortable i became with my own body, and this had a positive effect on my mind and my thinking,

Eating a regular three meals a day, breakfast lunch and dinner, and doing exercise, and staying up during the day and sleeping at night, going to bed a bit earlier and waking up earlier, and getting into a routine also helped me to get out of a depressive state, i was then able to use my time becoming more and more involved with things that got me out of my own comfort zone, which was good because i find if im not stimulated somehow then it is easier for me to become depressed,

I found volunteering really helped, there's quite a lot of things you can volunteer to do, from looking after animals to working in a charity shop to working on an organic farm, or at a festival, just four hours a week can make a big difference, again i think this is because it changes your environment, gets you out of the same old ways of thinking into something new

There have been cases in the past where i would volunteer for something when i have been in a good healthy way of thinking, only to find when i was meant to go - i was suddenly anxious, scarred, or just in a depressive non-interactive with people and the world way of thinking - nowadays id just go anyway because i know this is a bit like getting butterflies in the stomach before going on stage and that when i get there actually it'll be all right or if its not, well i can see what happens and deal with it when it happens,

but in the past they'd be times when id miss appointments or wouldn't go, (this would happen with social engagements too, meeting up with friends or going out or whatever) and this is ok, some times id lie or make up an excuse, and people would be ok with that,

volunteer places might get annoyed or put out - especially if i didn't tell them the real reason was because i was in the middle of a major depressive episode - but that's ok too,

so don't worry if you attempt to do something new and it goes a bit wrong or you end up not making it due to whatever reason

there's always the opportunity to try again or try something different
and you'll find in life that some people are very understanding
in fact ive found experiencing depression, and being suicidal, has opened up a lot of doors for me and has enabled me to meet a lot of really great people, that i might otherwise not have had the opportunity to meet,

Some people will tell you to just stop feeling down, enjoy life, or to man up, or quit being such a pussy,
and for some people it is as easy as that, but for a lot of people its not that easy, and hearing responses like this doesn't really help,
unless someone else has experienced your type of depression its quite a hard thing to understand,

but there is help and support groups out there, and it is something that is really worth getting out in the open and talking to people about, and it is something that you can with little steps (or big steps if your feeling courageous change.)

Good Luck.

Of course its an experience
and there is a rumor in the air
that the bad trips are the best
its something ive said before
although really there is no good or bad
if depression is a part of us you me and everything
it just is

hamusandoichi@gmail.com

Gunpowder Tea.

Gunpowder Tea

Nirvana is swallowing
your mobile phone

Playing with candles.

Playing with candles

For the first time in my life i had the feeling i met someone real, but did i throw it all away for her good looks and superficiality.  Please say no.  Its not too late.  Because i got the sense that you thought i was real too.  Only, i showed myself to you to be just as fake if not more make beilieve, than everyone else, but i am real, and i think your real too, and if only you could give that me you saw on the dance floor in the light of a candles flame as you spun head over heels cart wheeling again and again another chance, well maybe we both could be in reality. 

Crooked Reflection.

Crooked Reflection


What about if i want to be two
what about if i want to be blue
what about if i dont want to be you

and what happens if someone tells yah - do you know what youve been a wolf all your life but for just one moment please be a little sheep for me is that really too hard for you to do and look now how hop scotch Pow! the little sheep has become a sheperd and your right, you are actually completely right -
right on brother right right right!

Then suppose someones singing if your the right eye im the left and they dont even stop to draw breath before chatting about opening up this third eye like sat back on a black leather chair in the parlour and on one hand ill tattoo your my enemy on the other my friend,

for life isnt short its long just like the end of time has no end for there is no end to time unless the end of time is me, wait... the end of time is me, so what does that make you, is you the beginning of something new, and when oh Wen Wen Wen Wen Wen
Will Wen meet time?

Dream on Terry and find out...

So then what happens if we do start to dwell on the good that weve done, and then we all start focusing on the bad that well do
and what is good or bad anyway - perhaps i should ask santa - he does the list -

while hes checking it twice

i keep on thinking about ying and yang and bing and bong and you and me an me an you an you an me an me an you and you are me and i am you and you are me and i am you as you are me and i as you and he is she as she is he and we, we are all togethor and chemistry
isnt that the way everything works without us having to stop and think about it anyway,
like when things get hot they change like when things get cold they change, like when we breathe in and out we change the universe and things that are so tiny we cant even see what change our breathing is actually having but surely this is true i dont know im guessing our very being must change atoms and molecules or whatever ever the tiniest little bits of everythihng that we cant see all around us are in so many ways that well never know but it goes on anyway without us thinking about it - it all works or happens or whatever - is that chemistry

 and ok i aint much of an activist or a pacifist, im one of those roll with it everythings cool so why change it no need to protest lets ride it all out anyways, so yeah im not really a humanatarian at all am i, humans what a bunch of holes
and whats with this reflection anyway well its just the last line of the mirror really -
so lets all make peace, unite and be one -

i dont think i like it
i mean either we are all ready united and one in an universal sense you know cosmic dancing balance harmony allah wooshtah whey hey!
or we are not united and not one -
but then what would being united and being one mean
sounds pretty totalitarian to me
maybe thats how stonehenge got built and the pyramids
unless we all suddenly became one
would that be like worker ants
but this planet when it comes to humans
seems to be a mish mash of a lot of things, types, people
collectives and individuals,
im all for a world of total oneness and a world of total peace

i mean for me that would be a place covered in hair and the people if people is what they is
would just get off on touch and smells and music and theyd live off of air, and totally just feel warm and fuzzy all the time, and it would be the feeling inside would be like a proper rush the most lovely orgasm that just gets better and better going on and on and on for millienia and millenia yes yes yes getting better an better until finally the most beautifull climax ever and then pop why not, that world gone and boom incomes another, - or it could just keep going on forever and ever and ever getting better and better and better

but on the planet earth ive never been able to get my head round what being united and being one would mean, how would it work and what would it be like,

then again we are one right - trans global collective -

like even if you know someone that only plays psy-trance then someone else who only plays drum and bass and then someone whos a buddhist in tibet and someone else whos a marine and someone else whos a saint and someone else who likes to rape like someone in the KKK  and someone whos a slave like someone who kicks a dog and someone whos kind to rats like someone who works and like someone who hasnt got a job and someone whos homeless in north korea and someone who lives in a mansion in france we are all one
and do you ever think what if only really actually two people exist in this whole entire universe and thats me and you and yeah hi,  you and me...
but then in another sense of one-ness
what if someone says i dont want to be one
i like being free
i dont want to change
like i look around
especially at elderly people gardening or having a tea or coffee or going to the supermarket, or wathching telly, and i think, theyre not that fussed about us all being one, or this collective conciousness thing, and then theres some people that like working a nine to five, going to the gym, and others who are happiest when out in the woods or making something, and it makes me think just let the whole thing be, roll with it, either were all ready one, or it doesnt matter wheter were one or not, and maybe life as amazing as it is isnt the best thing of all, maybe death is totally awesome too, and maybe peace isnt all its cracked up to be, i mean what would happen if i started throwing petrol bombs through the windows of estate agents,

i think we should all throw petrol bombs through the windows of estate agents, when theyre shut of course, im not a complete barbarian,


john lennon got shot
on a planet that has prisons
and where violence is allowed out on the street but making love is suppodesly supposed to be kept behind closed doors (so no-one can see)
so really we are all blind
unless you stop lying about not having any change
i dont want to unite
i dont want to be one
i want to fly far far away
and never  come back
i want to travel every world and universe and galaxy
and love them all
no matter where or
what they are
Let them be.

With the lights out.

With the lights out

Planting seeds inside your heads
somethings growing
feel the outside of your body
have you changed
every smoke
thats ends up stubbed out in an ashtray
is a smoke
that could have been stubbed out
on your leg
when im with you
i can really feel it growing
take a look
you can see the change
someone is speaking
but your not listening
here we are now
with all the time in the world
left to play

Monkey See and Monkey Do.

Monkey See and Monkey Do


Keep burning them alive till you feel human
on the outside you can feed a itch
on the inside somethings growing
you burnt her cozz you thought she was a witch

people that live in glass houses
always seem to the throw the biggest rocks
if you kick a dog
does that make you human
just like if you judge me
by the colour of my skin
is it all part of the condition
sat at the bar
there goes another drink
now im thinking
are you really human
and whether
human really is the thing to be
maybe some of us are more so
than the others
i dont know how many different types
there are
and sometimes your more collective
than individualistic
though most of the time
you believe in the tribe of one
and have you ever noticed
some body calling some body else a sheep
theyve even used it on an advert
if i was polish i might say
dimey boo-shakah
thats just like calling a ship a sheep

keep burning them alive till you feel human
on the outside you can feed a itch
on the inside somethings growing
you burnt her cozz you thought she was a witch
is that what makes you human
just like if you judge me
by the colour of my skin
is it all part of the condition
sat at the bar
there goes another drink

now its got me thinking
who is it that chooses to be a sheep
is this like the matrix
the blue pill or the red
but the more
i talk to people
i realise its just words
that others are saying
echos im counting in my sleep
although one day this might happen
i will never call you a sheep,
your a sheep
your a sheep
your a cuckoo

your a fox

your a battery

your a rat

it was all just a part of the condition
i guess maybe i am a human too
as i watch my mother burning
flames bringing her to life
inside my heart is beating
who is it that decides
because on one hand
i could write redemption
on the other i could write revenge
on one hand i could write your my enemy
on the other i could write my friend
If you built a big enough bonfire
could you burn them all
and how much of an individual are you?
is it you against the whole wide world
are you the only one that gets it
everybody else is wrong
would you rather be a dog than human
would you rather be a human dog
and did you see her burning
was it your eyes that watched the flames
would you please tell me what you were thinking
id be interested to know
even more than if you knew her name
just out of curiosity
honestly not to judge
so i suppose
maybe it doesn't really matter
what you say or think at all
but if you kick a dog
are you human
or are you something else
is this all just a part of the condition
can i truly sacrifice something
for someone other than myself
with no expectation of reciprocation
give everything to take nothing back
i could build lots and lots of glass houses
you could throw the biggest stones
lets celebrate our birthdays
everyday we die
outside theres something growing
inside you can feel the itch
id rather be dead than human
and why did they burn her
is it all a part of the condition
or was it just because
someone started a fire
and please could you tell me
how many of you really
thought she was a witch

Grandeur.

Grandeur

So you think im a dick
thats ok
i dont mind if you think im a dick
as long as you truly believe and am sure im a dick yourself
and its not someone else that has convinced you im a dick
and yeah it would be nice to see your evidence of my being a dick
seeing as im convinced that all my behaviour towards and interaction with you
has been completely positive and in fact the total opposite of being a dick
i mean another way of looking at it would be
your a dick...
or how about
hes a dick
shes a dick
everyones a fucking dick
i could go one step further into delusional mentality
and say im the only one thats not a dick in a world full of dicks
but that would probably being going too far
alright so you think im a dick
ok fuck it yeah all right im the biggest dick in the whole fucking world,
so fucking what.
- hows about a more alternative ending...
Bite me.

Some of us are vampires.

Some of us are vampires

A screw is just a screw
until you call a screw a fuck
a fuck is just a fuck
until you call it making love
make it like a make it like a
nake in naked love
mating like a lion making
make in make in
love
this screw was just a screw
until i called the screw
a fuck
the fuck was just a fuck
until we caught it
making love
an apple was an apple
sitting in a tree
a bruise is just a bruise
my seed inside your  skin
Mother!
Nauture is a whore
her hunger games begin
lost boys will be lost girl
let the right one in

Lyrics.

Lyrics


One.

You are safe

And you can see

The only whay its meant to be

 no-one tells you what to do

The only one that knows is you

And you can give out love for free

The only way its meant to be

and when you work out

That you are him

And he is you

Well what the hells your supposed to do

And Did somebody say 

Its such a sunny day,

Sunny -- day.

Two.

Call up the doctor

Then disconnect your phone

The Eskimos are coming

for the ice thats all alone

At the bottom of the freezer

Waiting for a drink

Busking out of suitcases

Never go to sleep

Were waiting for the pitcture

Waiting for the verve

will they ever listen

will they ever learn

pretending that they hear you

but theyve never heard a word

drifting in the quiet

dripping off to sleep

they are

dripping in the quiet

drifting off to sleep.

Three.

Yes is knowing

No is guessing

Something in the art of fessing

Everybody likes it messy

Messy weather what a blessing

Muck it up

Muck it up

Lets all be the mucky pups

Mucky pups

Mucky pups

Fucking monkeys

Muck it up

And if ive got a secret

Is a favourite game

You might never get the answer

But your always glad your played

Like ive got this question Ive really got to ask you

But then Ill keep you hanging

Isn’t it a wonder

Muck it up

Muck it up

Lets all be the mucky pups

Mucky pups

Mucky pups

Fucking monkeys

Muck it up

Four

And Clouds do whatever the fuck they want to do

And clouds do just whatever the fuck they want to do.

And clouds do whatever the fuck they want to do

Clouds do…

Five

Baby!  Tell me everything that you want me too

            I said Baby!

Tell me everything that your waiting for

Oh baby

Everything you ever want ill do

Baby

Ever wondered if love has played a game like this before

Cozz baby

only one of us can stop the other

Walking out this door

And baby

I wasn’t looking

But somehow

This spell has found me

Now I know much more

Than I knew before.

Six

Whos fit Whos fit

Your fit im fit

Whos it whos it

Im it your it

Square peg

Square peg

Round round hole

Round round round round round round holes

Lose it

Choose it

Move it

Make it

Wake it

Bake it

Take it

Shake it

Moving

Choosing

Abusing

Making

Waking

Taking

Baking

Shaking

Your fit im fit

Whos it your it

Im it your it

Whos fit im fit

Square peg

Square peg

Round round hole

Round round round round round round holes.

Seven

Im not uptight

I aint a critic

I like it

and that’s the business

if you want it

come and get it

because theres nothing better

this side of living

there are drugs in my bag

my bag is drugs

the best one of all

is a drug called love

and heavy heavy heavy heavy

yes yes yes

heavy  heavy heavy heavy

yes yes yes

and eavy eavy heady heady

everyone have sex

eddie eddie heady heady

everyone have sex

Number Eight

Theres something I should tell you

No bodys in my head

Theres someone ive forgotten

Everything she said

Seemed a broken mirror

Wasn’t all my fault

And nobody can cure me

cozz I don’t want the cure
and nobody can kill me
because im already dead

so why must you save me

I don’t want to be saved

If you say that you were born ready

Then nothing needs to change

And isn’t nothing something

Someone said to me

Mouthing words

Without speaking

Even Hitler dreamed

Even Hitler even Hitler even Hitler dreamed
and john lennon once told me
violence is let out on the street
whilst making love is kept behind closed doors
so nobody can see
that open eyes are acting
eyes dancing with blind eyes
across the stage
whilst magpies keep on picking
shiny things the magpie way
Cuckoo took her eggs
to a nest she never made
and its Bob Marley who told me
its not the bird that sings the best
before i became a cactus in a desert
waiting to get wet
a oasis lotus blossom flower
smoke another ciggerette 
and whats that the vultures are singing...
even hitler even hitler 

Odd odd child

Nine

Could you tell me why you never call

I thought I saw you in the water fall

Walking backwards

Late one night

Both eyes closed

Just like your mind

An open mind

Is an open book

An open book

has no lock

Why don’t I burn the pages

So no-one can see

Why don’t I burn the pages

So no-one can see

Burn the pages

So no-one can see

Im out-out-out out of gas

Magic every single time

Melt in melt in melting cheese

Please read my diary

Read my diary please

Look through all of my things

Look through all of my things

Look through all of my things

And figure me out.

Ten

Ever wanted to kiss a guy

Ever wanted to kiss a guy

I don’t know why

But the only time

I ever wanted to kiss a guy

was when I read, trainspotting

sick boy sick boy didn’t understand

but it turned her on and that was the plan

she thought it was cool

cooler than that Maxi Jazz shit

shaken and stirred

just like my tea

james bonds the one that copied me

and if you don’t pay rent

is your name renton

renton renton wheres the rent

rent boy rent boy wheres the rent

did you think money was heaven sent

rent boy rent boy wheres the rent

slipping back into heroin

im slipping back into heroin

heroin my heroin

is slipping back into heroin

Eleven

Excuse me

I saw you

From you over there

Would you like some ice cream

Would you like to take a lick

Of my ninenty nine

You can have the whole stick

Lets go twos

Half for me

And half for you

But now its gone past twos

you’ve taken it to saves

so you might aswell finish the whole thing of your self

self self self self self made

your self self self self self self made

Twelve

A lamp is just a lamp

Without a lampshade

A lamp is just a lamp

Without a lampshade

People getting larey

Its not scary

My Heads getting kicked in

But im still lareing

Whats a cunt

Whos a cunt

Im a cunt you’re a cunt

Were all cunts

Your all cunts

You fucking Batty Cunt

Can you work out how to turn the light off

On and off and on without a switch

Looking up I can feel my nose break

Never took a beating like this one before

Whilst inside your body somethings growing

On the outside you can feel the itch

Now this is a tricky situation

To live or die or die or die or live

Scratch scratch scratch in concentration

I can feel you

Picket till you bleed in every stitch

Picket till you bleeding every stitch

Pick it till you breathe in every stitch.

Pick it till you believe in every stich.
The rabbits running in the ditch.

Sleeve--

------- Yes is knowing, no is guessing, ------ death is sweet and life is bitter ----- was abortion really the answer -------- whats the secret question I want to ask her???

(if anyone can guess the question I want to ask her – its going to be hard, but yeah doable, the opposite of soft and unusable, I will - what will I do, well exactly what it is i have to do, and yes of course ill eat my hat, all my hats, and everybodies hats, - on the bus on the bus on the bus on the bus, just to limit things a bit, roll up roll up, someone go to the shop and buy more baccy, one clue – the girl the important question is for is called Zoe – that’s a massive clue…  Too many clues not enough drugs  - (the original Parker Games slogan for Cluedo)  Didnt Fly.  It was blatantly Professor Plum.

Silly.

Silly

S & M is your friend
pain will never hurt again

Universal Solder.

Universal Solder

No is guessing
yes is knowing
yes is knowing
no is guessing

12 Monkeys.

12 Monkeys

Everyone feels its contagious
the new disease is getting famous

Clobber.

Clobber

You pretty stupid bunny with that
silly little dummy
 in your ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma mouth so spit it out
gummy bears are funny cozz they never ever worry
they just
Woking Woking
boing boing
bounce bounce bounce

Easy.

Easy

Your hot but your no no Nancy Sinatra
 your hot hot hot but your no no Nancy arnt you
 take a step off of your stupid little throne
throw away your heavy heavy crown babe 
shut your eyes 
cool down your mind
and see your not the only one 
were all hot 
hot hot hot like Nancy Sinatra 
and then learn how to say yes
instead of no
nothings the matter

Phobia.

Phobia

A button
spinning on the floor
like a coin
that hasnt come to rest
a sun lit circle on the wall
the milk whirls into the tea
as the silver spoon enters
and the light shines
creating beautiful  patterns
a sun lit circle on the wall
your young untouched flesh
the dress rips
and his hand touches
slips down inside
he tastes your white breasts
your lips
a sun lit circle on the wall
there is no reason
other than your beautiful
he chose you
for your curls
your eyes
your world
your dress
your legs
your soul
he wants it all
every sound you make
he captures
puts it in his box of wooden skin
his fingers damp on steam
carve and splinter
until all you can see is moving
like an angry shadow
a sun lit circle on the wall

Sixteen Eighty One.

Sixteen Eighty One

The coolest dark
there ever was
it was
pretty dark
pretty dark
pretty really
pretty dark

The rain got louder
on the roof
tin can
tin can
tip tap
tip tap
tin tin can

The candle shone
it was pretty bright
really pretty
pretty bright

I saw a dodo
witch replied
I don't remember when I died
I can't even think
what is my name?
will it ever be said again

Who am I?
who am I?
the caterpillar asked the sky
but a fly but a fly
nothing but a but a fly

The butter flew
the butters gone
the Cheshire cat sung
a song
without a face
without any eyes
a smile shining in the sky

Bring me a mouse
to clean my teeth
it must clean them before
I sleep
so I can vanish into my
dreams
and remember everything
I see

Cheshire cheese Cheshire cheese
the island
and the beach
the sand
the waves of time
between our hands
the Jack of hearts
the Red Queens man
a postman letters in his van
letters into words
began
to groan and creak
and stretch his back
brown parcel in his postman
sack and walked onto
the gravel
track
track track

There goes the parcel
out the bag
its not the last journey I'll ever have
I've got two more
before I go
into the ovens
the first you
know
and I'll be pretty
hot pretty hot
really burning pretty
hot

Then onto the
table and
a plate
they do not bother
to say grace
and before you know it
down I go,
Dodo
Dodo
Dodo
Dodo.

On the street at night its magic land.

On the street at night its magic land

Lamps alive!
Air sharp,
My,
How rich I am, like prince weightless without crown.
In and out shallow breaths cut frosty curls,
And dance above a star struck road,

As Shadows move like twisted marinates,
Twirling strings will snake one arm drink in hand,
To parting lips,
which begin to sip invigoratingly from the cool night glass of the world,

Cold?

It’s like being reborn or waking within a dream,
Visions curtains open onto a stage lit by lucidity.

Here tiny shards of ice will trickle down your throat,
Tickling spine and warming soul like some spicy rum oh Portugal,

While sitting Bellies all a twitch
Feel glorious,

It’s like someone has come and turned a stitch upon the lining of your stomach wall,
Try to imagine inside,
That warts and all tiny little sailors argue over ill gotten coins, brought back from spoiled wars,
pistols crack in each sailors hand means no more butterflies swirling round,
For they’ve been grounded by powder shot,
have no fear they will flutter once more just not yet,
For your stomach has become a hearth right now,
and If you dared to believe it upon the shores,
Jamaica’s fire burns.

Once was a professor full of lead,
Who shock of white hair upon his head,
Used to fly air balloons,
Majestically he swept joyous freedom from just being
High, up above floating clouds which matched his hair,
Now his pull,
Is to hammer patchwork quilts on human souls,
To make them fly just like his balloons,
His hammer rises, His hammer falls,
Its strikes orchestrate sparks which quickly fizzle
Bursting into flickering electro life.

Hear what hums underground?

Secret sounds.
Is always a rushing beneath your feet, such energy.
Makes I for one feel free, of gravity’s draw,
ever hear your soul soaring call,

“Pretend to be a dragon, smoke streaming from your lips?”
Look now, how you slip so gently into the middle of the road,
“Not something you’ve done lately, but yes often as a kid.”
Whilst all is basked in orange glow.
Streetlamps play leapfrog with trees,
Whose game lying on pavements side leaves I with my road,
Its white lines are yellow bricks, light house shine to returning ship
Follow foxes but you must be quick,
For they appear fast only to break away like rolling waves,

This quiet earth feather light
So well known throughout the Milky Way
As a friendly port safe within the universal storm.

“So why is the park empty?”
Because everyone’s asleep,
Who can blame them, all tucked up warm, safe in bed,
they are happy nesting in their dreams.
But sometimes I get to thinking and maybe you’re the same?
Of how it would be one night if instead of sleeping.
we all decided to stay awake.

Just like that
And together leave our beds and homes behind
Along with those so many questions too
Such as why am I here?
And what do you do?

For here’s a secret,
The morning dew won’t care,
And it doesn’t matter what you wear
When trees are electric and branches hang
On the street at night its magic land.

So follow me off we go,
Have now fear of the moonlit road
It’s time to journey into the dark, yes! Lets
Have an adventure in the local park

Here you can see the nature kissed benches of moulding grey, sitting like books with only one page.

Find life stories written on their brassy plaques.
Just look
Maybe share a moment a little thing but so precious a time.
Please stop a while with the crooked old men in their flat tweed caps,
Sit next to them, and they will chat,
Might even tell of wife’s fresh passed away,
whose names now adorn benches of moulding grey.

So gentle how talk can change from orchids too cups of tea,
This journey begun with the sun shining at a half past twelve,
Now the suns asleep and Big Ben tolls three.
That’s right here we are three chimes since the witching hour.
Stars so bright like to present us with magic eyes.

Whilst up above divine force, the moon,
Lets her Magnetic Power settle upon the mood,
and Silent
Secret
Like Blanket Snow
Her moon flakes fall.

Drop
Like tears from the sky,
Wild,
Splosh!
They Wash away all fear.
Until gone at once from every face,
The look that says,
“I’m afraid”.

Prick up – your lords & peers!
“Why so scared of your own voice”
“Why are you so scared of your own voice?”
“Why so scared of your own voice”

Moon flakes settled upon shoulders begin to whisper into ears.

Banana Ma Moon.

Banana Ma Moon

Theres a banana
shining in the sky
have you ever wondered
ever asked yourself
why?
Theres a banana shining
in the sky
like a cheshire cat smiling
without any eyes
without a face
a ying yang sign
tiny black circle
with a smile so white
in the depths of space
have you ever wondered
ever asked yourself
why?
Theres a banana shining
in the sky

Judah.

Judah

i i i
i an i an i
theres a lions face
in the black black night
see it in the clouds
that are passing by
a great big smile
with two wide eyes
and the deepest mane
of whites and greys
chasing after the stars
in space

Twinkle Twinkle.

Twinkle Twinkle

Stars burning bright
are they spiders
or crocodile eyes

i was once asked
are they wishes or winks?

so every-time i wink
i make a wish
that a new star will shine

another spider
spinning webs in the sky
to catch and eat
the crocodile flies

Roof top dreaming.

Roof top dreaming

Have you ever sat
and sung to the moon
just like me
i know you do

im on the roof top
of my house
underneath a starry sky
and i imagine
quite late one night

that we are singing
at exactly the same time

hello i love you
wont you tell me your name

June.

June

Juney juney
juney moon
juney juney
come back soon
i never ever went away
im always here
although they say
you might not
see me in the day
but when you do
and im with the sun
were going keep on
shining for everyone
thats sung
Juney juney
juney moon
juney juney
come back soon

Tuppy & Georges world.

Tuppy & Georges world


Last night we created a world.
Playing with words.
Pretty dark, is pretty dark, really truly
pretty dark,
such pretty dark so pretty dark,
pretty dark its beautiful
Then pretty hot.
Pretty hot
Your really very pretty hot.
So pretty hot,
Cholesterol
Sweet far away cholesterol
celestial cholesterol
outer spacey festival
Oh celeste the best cholesterol
how i wish to reach your shores
To play.  To run.  To skip my fingers
through your hair
that grows and grows and doesnt stop
until the entire planet
oh celestial sweet cholesterol
is one big love in covered with hair
that to touch is to excite
with warm and fuzzy good vibrations
that grow and grow and do not stop
until far away across
the stars
on the planet earth
from a cats mouth
a fur ball goes
a whooooooshing
out the stomach... pop!
& so ends sweet cholesterol
oh outey spacey bestival!

Wakey Bakey.

Wakey Bakey

I see the sunlight its sitting there still
making the glass grow the greenest of the sea
i hear the birds talk
chatting in the trees
lets climb into the window to the sunshine of our minds
i like it outside it makes me feel good
just like the inside
a smoke before a dream
my laces untied
walk into the hills
lets climb in through the window to the sunshine of our minds
and then i whisper
before i go to sleep
on the pillow
your hair upon my cheek
if you hold my hand
ill hold onto yours
this really is the window to the sunshine of our minds.

Oceas Fortune.

Oceas Fortune

Once upon a night
a moth flew down from the moon
and began chatting in moth language
which went very much like this
flip flap flutter
silly string fluff
noseys out of bogeys
better fill them up
and as quick as smash!
the talking became clear to me,
clear as sunshine on a spoon,
this is your magic pen my friend
whatever it writes comes true
you will have adventures
in mountains across the sea
singing songs about the weather
and the lovely things youll eat
its snowy in the winter
ice melts when its warm
a hurricane is spinny wind
that circles in a storm
a pot of porridge boiling bubbles
listen to them pop
with hamsters popping out their paws
in tiny hamster shops
would you like some fairy cakes
we bake them in our sleep
they wont taste very good at all
weve cooked them in our cheeks
close your eyes
quick blink twice
before you go to bed
and youll remember every dream
youve dreamt inside your head
there was a moth king married to the moth queen of the moon
there was a compass spinning a candle and a spoon
the rocks of the life were burning
white and soft as sand
a pearl had slowly started
watch it growing in your hand
then you will hear them singing
the mountains across the sea,
step into the circle
send your songs across the wind
echo echo
your names within our hearts
every river is a road
and your home is where it starts.

Ghost Train.

Ghost Train

Talk to beardy man
the ducks have landed.

Salute to the fish

wE ARE tHe FisH tHe gYpSy FiSh
we BiTe We BiTe aNd bItE ThE dIsH ThE dIsH tHe DiSh

how does it feel to dance to drum and bass sitting down
bringeth the noise

Gods eyes are like strawberrys
the mike the mike the mike

Snow Flake.

Snow Flake

So i wanted you
i still do
your in my mind
when i think i think of you
your moving
i can see you dance in behind my eyes
and i wonder why cant you be lying next to me
everything i dream its always good for you
your moving
and i ask myself have you gone away
so far that i cant find that place
where you make the sun shine on all of them for free
but then i guess thats just the way with you
your moving
and all i got from what you gave
its made me who i am today
and i guess ill always be in love with you
did you know?
when i close my eyes i still see your face
your moving.

Eye Wander.

Eye Wander

I thought a thought inside of my head
it said
your dead to me it told me your dead
dead to the world cant you see
 if your not alive best to sleep
piggy piggy
diggy dabble
dibble dibble
if you dont catch the ball then your staying in the middle
hello malcolm hello cory
saved by the bell
i got to tell you all a story
the scenes ive seen on my tv screen
there coming back
yes there coming back to me
in a room full of retro cartoons
theres nothing to lose
just choose just choose
a jumper with a b stands for bert racoon
cyril snears the baddy
cedric what you going to do
iceburg iceburg
straight ahead
listen to titanic
what the radio said
somethings a happening and sometimes they do
melting from the top until the pink paper stew
a bit of green a little bit of red yellow down the middle the artist paints
new forms breaking creation
brown paper bags representing every nation
in a room in a room full of musical tunes
some are good some of them are clock work
some are bad some of them dont work
you can see the stains on my clothes ive not got long before i go
jumped ship the way is drawing
drawing draw in never fails

Easy on.

Easy on

The soothing sounds of blissful ignorance
youve got me moving again
im alive
i can see
i feel free
i am you and you are me

and we can make the night shine
eternity is the way of time
there is no end
to the line
it goes onwards
onwards and on
we belong
we are strong
like the snow the dust the powder
a tree falling
nothing could be louder
if you breathe
pure in emotion
feel the tides of the ocean
calling
come back
come back
come back to the sea
it wasnt me it was the edge of my seat
that had me cliff hanging
hanging on with my teeth
one bite
and i nearly died
one bite
over the other side
i thought i was a ghost that was dead
i am a ghost
thats what i said
and the pills and red wine dying in the sun rise
come on let me lie here
why wont you let me die here
cant you just let me die here
i was close my eyes were closed
my mind was closed
at least it seemed that way there was nothing left to do nothing left to say
my skin was burning in the falling rain
the sensation had me again
i needed to talk to my friends
but i was dead
how many times
have you tried
have you tried
sweet zensation rise
we can burn them away
the bridges
theres a needle slipping its pricking my skin and at first the feelings win
i got my love off a back of a spoon
when you heat it up you know its tastes good
and then we start to fade away
puddles appear in the pouring rain
then the sunlight shines
and the puddles fade.

Lack of sleep.

Lack of sleep

Theres knifes and forks on the jukebox
good morning coffee
afternoon tea
dickie had the nicest ham hes ever had last night
i was on the floor
anna was talking like train spotting
she had been for i think
she must have been for the longest time
a while
and i couldnt hear
at least it sounded strange to me
an alien language more sing song than words
asking me to perform
perform! perform!
i couldnt perform
as i lay there asleep
deep coma toes
then lizzie came back from the hospital
had she been there all the time
i couldnt get up to touch her give her a hug or anything
i just lay there stupified
on some drug
lizziiiiieeee...
i finally managed to say
i think that was it
as i tripped out or into consciousness
it doesnt matter if you dont believe in god 
god exists 
i mean i think ive heard the name before
and it has to be said
it was all strangely Mayan mars Mescaline Freddy beatles Mercury

Jumpers out of biscuits.

Jumpers out of biscuits

Life, its beautifull!
at least it seems to be
when you see everything is beautifull
its a way to see,

there isn't any darkness
that can keep you holding back
a rats this little animal
a rat that's just a rat

have you see them trying on
green whiskers of a cat
inside out guitars are made
black jackets with hard hats
take the lampshade put it on
the moon its very flat
i never saw the suitcase
till out the bags i packed
monkey and giraffe went everywhere
don't know if they're coming back

two pieces of glass had fallen
broken on the steps
messy me say messy heart me say Messi is the best

it was a broken jar with lots of sticks
that next day became the sun
in a wooden drawer hiding with time
open everyone
until you find the goldy, a heart beat in the cold,
the doctors waking up my friend
-we think this heart is yours
you very nearly lost it
just like you've lost your head
i don't know why im telling you this
you've not heard a word i said.

Late night Laughter.

Late night Laughter

All these lenses
ready for a feel
i cant find the one
now my fingers numb

Lieing here forests
my dear chourus
cant you live twice

if i had your picture
id say im sorry

my dear forest
my blind chorus
gives me a reason to fight

i can hear the rain
light knows wheres to go

why have daydreams
white lace sneakers
give me a reason to die

i can only want you
why make forests
white lace sneakers
give me a reason to die

i hear voices
melting rays gone
living captive sun

its a ring of cant do's
can you see the picture
i can only want you twice

man made forests
my new chorus
give me a reason to die

Stop it.

Stop it

I cant see you
its in my head
nothing again

I always run
i run so fast

I pretend i havent seen it
theres a line under my arm
it keeps snowing
bright white clouds are falling

now im under your power
im down beneath the sand

ive been strong before
now im nothing
here i go again

ive got to itch
ive got to itch
ive got to itch
i cant stop it
ive got to itch

i am scalpelled
my vein got turned on
see food tuna
hold on young heart

ive been down
ive been sad
im sure of sinking sand
ive been strong
your still blowing
dont slow down
hold on fast

i cant stop
oh your snowing
i must itch
your young heart

a back town tuna
a back town luck
ill be weighing
much less now

bad skin
bright white skalpel
hold your young arms

i can stop it
i can stop anything

Bells Ringing.

Bells Ringing

Tell me about your life
ill try not to get sick more than twice
theres a machine thats a magnet
its good with lovers
i saw it crash
like the first world war
isnt the world a little bit sane
there were some lines
then the lines werent there
heading to the sun
its the place to be
we can run until the someday
oh my god its a great machine
look at everyone
can you see them can you see them through
the pit in the bottom of the garden
where the sun crys morning
we are old lovers
not good friends
im hear to tell you
that the world wont change

Aliens.

Aliens

Slashed in the salt
got no replies
dropping the jar
took by surprise
helped on the steps
colour like crayons
my bleeding wrists
ill colour with crayons

The Park.

The Park

Im on my side
feels like im in the tube
typing lazy
waiting for the days
of good conservations
ive been disconnected
hello youth
i couldnt climb the stair
i was breaking into silence
honey inches away from me
hello you
wont you turn me on
ive never been inside
hello youth

Maybe.

Maybe

My friend isnt made of glass
doesnt look casual
wonder why i pretend so much

Wont someone give me the sign

I was concetrating
on myself
pretending
i was interested
in everyone
it was natural
came so easily to me

Stupid Floor.

Stupid Floor

Paranoid
my brain is sliding down the wall
cold outside
how long to go before i see another mosquito, bite
your light is on
and i ask myself
how did i get inside a house like this
i knock on your door
just for a second id thought youd remember me
im alive
computer breakdown
with a bottle of pills and red wine i can kill myself
i think things through
answer the door
its your friend
remember me from halls
i cant sit down
the shadows on the wall remind me of being alive
you had to ask
seemed i only exist in the city of electric
now its gone ive got no-one
another computer break-down
orchestra - isnt mozart amazing
its not the end its life
what a distance you have
time goes on
well see everything soon
can you hear that radio?

Cry Little Sister.

Cry Little Sister

Im floating through the wall
its easy when you know
easy when you know you know
and everything is good
its made for you and right
easy to unwind and rind
theres colour in your hair
music in my eyes
you know you know.

Bad Timing.

Bad Timing

I like to sleep beneath the wings
of doves that fly so high,
it wasn't me i hadn't learned it then
a thing about wrong time,
this is a stand, just one night
doesn't mean it has be your last,
and then we die, over the side
lets fall in and talk about the surf
windy trees stitching Wendy shadows
on our eyes
it couldn't be i hadn't learnt it then
that's the trick, you see it once then its gone
just a little thing about wrong time.

Bicycle.

Bicycle

The arrival of this doggy bone
reminds me of a place called home
laughing butterfly
sun lit roads
white dandruff
on a pure black comb

CymbAls.

CymbAls

Shapes on skin are taking over the world
oh gods oh stars oh mother hear my prayers
star hips fashion hits men ladies boys girls
shapes on skin are taking over the world
big bangs cosmic story outer space twirled
black ink triangles circles and squares
shapes on skin are taking over the world
oh gods oh stars oh mother hear my prayers

Nu Wage Mu.

Nu Wage Mu

I was bowling for columbines
when the new age came to me
a bat went flying
rock was burning
festival lights
you taste so sweet
carefull looking when your cooking
carefull cooking dont look down
some were squeezing
some were folding
Smokeys sign said
"lost & found"

The old ways strumming
off the metal
on the jazz
like mouldy cheese
ice cream skaters
in the fridges
olympic mice
arnt make believe

your birthday
my see saw
its nice to paint your dreams

cold bathtub
no hot tap
whys it always me

and then at once
the something happened
we all jumped in
and lost our heads
along the way
as stars where turning
i remembered words you said

"second right straight on till morning,
the new age is never-where"

tinkle tinsle
chimes get windy
wendy flower behind one ear
toodle toodle
my lovely marbles
damson jam
has got them now

i found you
you found me
on a sculpture
at glastonbury

tree pirates
just got here
pink invisible squirrels
keep you safe and warm

old moon face
sweet silkie
sitting cosy in a tree
new aging in the ley lines
till the morning
cool shoe shine
suns for free

i had it then i chucked it
seemed it wasnt all quite there
somethings funny about inky mushrooms
"whats she singing?"
i love the colorful clothes you wear

one teacher
one pupil
free eyes
take them from this bowl
round suitcase
no bottle
love potions on the ground
ruby gypsy magic voodoo electric city lady land
keep swimming keep singing
"ive got your marbles in my hand"

I was bowling for columbines
when the new age came to me
a bat went flying
rock was burning
festival lights
you taste so sweet
carefull looking when your cooking
carefull cooking dont look down
some were squeezing
some were folding
Smokeys sign said
"lost & found"

Sorry.

Sorry

Hello my names daffy
and im sorry
i said id be sorry
sorry for something i havent done
but something i plan to do
as well as bad punctuation

Or as I like to call them
upside down exclamation marks
!

Its called free verse
thats easy to hear
theres no music playing now

it goes on for too long
and even more
when you dont know how
to finish
how doesnt come into it
at least not until youve read all of them
and even then
you might not know how
for now.

i dont think its called free verse in fact i know its not

Letter to Lord of the potatoes.

Letter to Lord of the potatoes

LordSpudz

hello and welcome
your delightful welcome hello post
has me charmed
so in the manner of all truly horrible people
ive decided or it made me, i was forced your honour, not guilty
to write a poem in defence of our toothy friends
hippies
i mean vampires
i beseetch you not to read it
for its contents are trully horrible
on ear and eye
ive only just found out your from Norwich
and your name isnt lord putzah but lord spuds
if id known your were one of those
truly wonderfull people from norwich
i never would have embarked upon
such a long winded crook full of crack pot
im going to give everyone a days warning
(its really is garbage)
theres going to be a big mess to clean up
or as my uncle would say
a nasty accident
yours unthreatingly
Daffy,

(it would be later known that this was in fact the last thing Daffy ever wrote - written from his cell in Wichitaw prison.

No.

Knot

An ode to vampires

todays bogey man
is tomorows transalvalnian tran sexual
cough cough
i mean vampire
or vampryress
as the more toothy
of our toothy friends like to be known
charming
lord putzah
how dare you seek to string row to robe
roost to ruin
row to row of your boat gently down the stream
merrily merrily
garlick
a steak a steak my kingdom for a steak
and make sure its bloody
across the screen
where thou art thou dracula
thats easy for you to say
this has become a mockery
vampires dont wear capes anymore
i knew there was something about batman
suck-eth
i mean pow
pow-eth was only used in that highly obscure medievil episode of batman and you cant expect anyone else to have seen that only a handfull of square pegs in a cracked box of, take a pause for breath, holy mercy some of that sweet light lovely air, half a dozen, would have seen it,
blinkers on
hes worse than Albert
my last appearance was in lost boys
and even without dodgy lyrics we were beginning to suck
and i dont mean on young milk right virgins
who had had the experience of milking a cow or two under their belts
chance would be a fine thing
im putting the record on now
excellent
atmospheric
spooky i remember
dodgy lyrics
black house will rock
blind boys dont lie
the walls scream and hear
cry little sister
thou shall not fall
come come to your brother
though shall not pass
yeeeeeaaaahhaaiir
un emphasise on the un chain me sister
thou shall not feel
love is with your brother
thou
oh yeeaaaaiiiirrrraaahhhiirr
shall not kill
oh in that case i better hang up my wings
and play some Lynyrd Skynrd
it takes a while
but soon youll get to the bit i like
(The End!)
yes yes very dry
do you want a martini
id like a bianca
shut up here it comes
(sound of human imatating an electric guitar...
whaauunnngggg whaaaauum whaauumm
badly)
and i thought cats were bad
vampires the title is bloody vampires (no its knot)
oh dont worry about them
did you know Lynrd Skynrd wrote this song all about the emotional battleground that is the experience of changing a babys dyper,
and having said baby pee all over your face,
yes you were to blame darling,
whaaow whaaow whaaoow!!!!!!!!
im like a speeding car full of pshyco clowns about to get shot up by a policed barricade
just keep rolling your hands over each other in the style of a monkey drummer
thanks for the tip
checkity check chick check checkity chick check check and Platypuss Bill please
Hello im Platypuss Bill how would you like your tea
milk and two sugars please
chickity check it out
boop!
ill have mine like James Bond
shaken not stirred
word
extreme guitar solo
(above example is of the proper use and only intended situation for the use of the word extreme ever written, Douglas, The house that smoked a hundred things. 2011)
i could have made a real cup of tea by now
im still rolling my hands over like a monkey drummer
is this even a poem
its free verse
what
its 2012 not 2011 dummy
free verse
free verse
no no free bird
man this concerts loud!
free verse
free bird
free bird?
yeah yeah free bird
Free Bird!
Free hugs!
i cant chaaii--eee-aaa-eee-aaaa-eeee-aaaa-nge
he wasnt very good at making change
(which is why he got sacked from the post office,)
the end
really?
dont push it. It wont go very far. What did Huggs he do?
"To get back to the warning that I received. You may take it with however many grains of salt that you wish. That the brown acid that is circulating around us isn't too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it's your own trip. So be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, ok?" Letter from Laughing duck to the Falling Squirrels, - Dear Paul,
Something is happening in Corinth.

Us Department of Justice
Drug Enforcement Administration
Karen P. Tandy
www.dea.gov

Todays Dea arrest of Laughing Duck a.k.a Daffy, a.k.a lifes a beach, aka Falling Squirrel publisher of the magazines cannabis tastes good, smoke it! - and co founder of the legalize cannabis organisation group - is a significant blow not only to the marijuana trafficking trade in the U.S and Canada, but also to the legalize cannabis movement.

Huh-huh-huh, Dude she said blow.

Heaven.

Heaven

Andy duffrane came out clean
all the way to the sea of no memory
this is the curse of the sophisticated rapist
a wanted girl
who plays just that little bit harder
at the game of making you work
at making her work at making you want her more
hope im your friend red said andy
seems like hope and red will have a happy end
busy living
busy dieing
so excited can you feel theyre free
busy running
busy crying
it was just as blue as my dreams.

Keep Singing.

Keep Singing

Something beautiful about the stars and moon
i love you, i really do
you shine so bright
in the morning
out comes the sun
says hello
to everyone
its easy
beating me
so easy beating me
then i see you
the brightest light
something beatufil
you shine so bright
easy
like the stars and moon
so easy

Something Else.

Something Else

run away
its starting again
the news scratches
into my days
i want to dream
but i fall flat
the lights are blinking
off and on
off and on
off and on

i wonder
do you ever think
about the days
about the way
we change
have we changed
do you ever think
about the days

the lights are blinking
on and off
im not listening
on and off
on and off
on and off

im getting lost in the middle of the street
by the people that come to you
all wrapped up in your heat

on and off
on and off
your hot your hot

off and on
off and on
im hot your hot

and i wonder
do you ever think
about the days
about the way
weve changed
im hearing voices again
do you ever think
about the days
about the days
the ways
we change
weve changed
weve changed

Loose Bag.

Loose Bag


The daughter of the cat
pussy slips on a dark mask of silk
shuts wide eyes
gags mouths with cotton, dumb ice

arms tied up in a chair
by electric kittens
there is no map for life
destination marked
which way is?
"i told you it was straight on till morning"

a lady cant work the mouse
stuck in the cats jaws
she shakes in fury
leaves the computer to fetch a broom

into the room like Alice through the looking glass
more and more beautiful fish for the sea
an autistic boy runs around the back garden
onto the concrete then onto the grass

So a burly old man shouts
on the grass
off the grass
whilst a french girls sings "joe les taxi"
this is not a drug history

i once was alive when i acted without thinking
it is a curse when decisions become wasp stings
now im dead - i cant rap

all im good for is lieing next to the wall
to afraid to eat, it used to be so easy
it will be again, right now, burn me

if i could i would break out these knotted bonds that tie my body to the chair,
spit out my gag, whisper to your ear, draw in pen across our backs,
heaven is bare skin, bare skin,

there is a knife on the floor, i could use my feet, but i dont, i keep still,
i dont even try to cut the rope, i stay rooted like a tree
until the chair falls over and everything once again becomes wet

all the girls and boys ladies and gentlemen are fish, look at their clothes, so sparkly, the colours, the shimmer, the scales,
we are all under the water in this teeming ocean of life?

Sirens mermaids, ive not gone mad, sing

dive right in, out of the chair swim below the floorboards of Waterstones, follow the hammer and feather last dropped on the moon,
sink at exactly the same time together, no gravity

swim as far as you can then a little bit further
come meet the cat whisker people who live in mock tudor houses below your feet

those sleek haired red cloaked creatures in nose more rats than cats
walk in shabby circles, dance without moving
when you ask them
have you always been here?
is it alright that im here?
"yes" they will reply "yes"

only breath can be held for just so long
Waterstones will be closing soon
today is not the day to drown
so its time to say goodbye
swim, on the way pass the sinking feather
see the hammer floating on top o the ocean
back to being tied up in the chair

the lady who couldn't get her mouse to work is long gone

pussy slips off the dark mask of silk
takes out the cotton gag whispers into your ear
"there are books on shelves with broken spines"
where shall we swim to next?