Bussey Building.

Bussey Building

The lights went off

inside the pyramid was a girl sitting on a bench, she had been crying and tears ran down her face
like the shifting sands that had fallen before to craft mountains in the dust trapped between the glass i became crafted into something new
i was human again
even if i wasnt awake
and i could walk
i put my hand in my pocket and felt coins there
i clenched my fist capturing them then took my hand from my pocket
i opened my palm
and sat upon it
nestled between four coins, a large two pound piece, and three coins of silver a ten pence and two fives, this made two pound twenty, which was the exact amount to buy a single ticket for a bus in london,
london
the lights went on
i was in london
the pyramid had gone
and in its place was waterloo station
the girl who was crying sat on a bench outside
she had a large bag of luggage with her
i walked past
and didnt say a word
then i started thinking in my head
go back and ask if shes alright
maybe shed like a ciggeratte
i noticed a champagne flute standing upright on the side of the road
it still had some drink in it
and next to the flute
was a tall glass bottle
that was half full
maybe i could take this bottle back to the girl
she might be in need of a drink
so i turned back
i had to
if there was some way in which i could help and i passed that opportnity by
surely i would be a lesser man
i left the bottle and the champagne glass where they were
and went back to the girl
who sat looking dejected and upset,
hey are you ok, i saw you were crying and wondered if your alright
would you like a ciggerette
the girl raised her sad face to mine
and replied
that she had just lost her passport and her bag which contained all her ciggerettes, so she really would like a smoke
it was the least i could do
we spent a little time chatting
then i told her that there was a 24 hour cafe nearby
and also about the bottle of drink
the lights went on
waterloo wavered
the whole world became fuzzy and warm
as the station dissaparated into the background
i found myself at a bustop
where i was greeted by an old lady with a yellow duck round her neck like an old friend
i was thinking about the pyramid
when the lady asked me where i had come from
waterloo i replied
then a white haired old lady with no teeth in her mouth that appeared from nowhere

shouted out - ive come from the moon
or at least thats what i thought she said
what did you say asked her friend the duck lady
i thought in my head she said ive just come from the moon
but remained silent,
ive just come from the moon,
i thought you said that
but niether of the ladies listend
they just laughed and luaghed about the moon for ten minutes or so

the lights went off
wet
i was back in the water
the pyramid spilled out and its shape changed to a perfect triangle
i watched it intensly
it was like we were joined somehow symbiotically
as it moved through the water it was almost as if it were dancing
and my head started to sway to and through to the traingles rythmn
in disbelief i watched
as the strands of white
turned from a triangle into a perfect square
sluicning through the water the strange dance continued
then the corners of the square folded in on themselfs
outwardly turning and getting bigger
the lines bent and bent until
in front of me in the water was a pure circle
i had never seen shapes behave in this way before
and i felt enlightened
that i know knew how to turn a triangle into a square and then into a circle
there was only one thing i could do and that was swim torwards
the round form in front of me
closer and closer i got to the circle
until i went right through it
and burst out on the other side it was exactly
like diving headfirst trhough a mirror in a dream
to become lucid on the other side and waking up
with open eyes i stared directly into the face of time...





we played a trick
there were two ways go
we all hid
and waited
and then when he came
we pretended we were going one way then went another
i was flying
it had taken a while to learn


i remember being a baby
something had happened
something bad
there was reason to feel like this
what came before

in germany
the family was so happy
delighted with their curly haired cherubic angel
as we curled up togethor on the floor
i was sure
it was only i that knew he was going die
in the most horrofic way

blood
i couldnt figure out
which one of was the bad child
was it me or him
which one of was going to grow the sharp teeth
and begin to bite the hand that feeds

floating we all float thats what i remebered in a dream
i wasnt a part of this family this family was not mine
it all belonged to that other boy
and even though i imagined what it would be like to grow sharpy point teeth
then bite down through a finger tearing of skin before chomping through bone
and crunch snap the finger would splurt out its gorgeous load with no more resitance than if i were biting a carrot i knew that i was the one who was going to die

i had to hide
but i wasnt doing it so well
i kept thinking i would be caught
i had jumped into the top of a hedge
and hung there amdist
giant orbs of yellow blossom

my brothers face had become disfigured over the years
he now went round in nothing but a robe of black
his skin transculescent and grey
and his mouth more like the many barbed mouth
of a deep sea creature than of a human being

the cupboard was empty
no-one was there
but i heard the voices
when i sat on the chair
a hundred old people
that know where to run
a bus on the table
shoots for the moon
trees are like water
dust from your lips
your white hair is perfect
like light from the sun

the cupboard was empty
no one was there
but i heard the voices
of moving people
they wait
and when i say i am here
there is nothing to fear
it makes me cry
because i cant go through
the wall
i try
but i cant tell you
this sacrifice
i am caught
between illness
and dreams
the ghost forest
of silence and darkness
in this other world
im alone
so i sleep
on the wooden floor
leave me
shut the door
now your in hell
wondering what to do
i awake
and touch your hair
now you understand
but you mustnt tell
the secret you found
in my diary
there is no cure
my heart is yours
this insanity is the theme
thank the stars
for a simple world
three words
i love you
yet i cannot do anything
as you become ravaged by disease
twice ive tried to commit suicide
once by returning to the sea
again by overdosing
on sleeping pills
this madness will smother
us all
through a glass
darkly

the stars shine so bright, its a gorgeous night that makes me think has anyone ever got drunk on the stars, head peeling from paint spiraling up nostrils, i can see flashes of colour that leap and play in the sky and make me feel like im swimming through the air just like im dreaming in my sleep.
Now im on a tube travling backwards like a blood vessel in my vein, the water in my body swirls to the pull of movement, in here were blazed with light. Outside everything is pitch black for a while. Then it begins to glow under pools of gold, this is when the bricks speak to me. Calling out for me to touch them, to dance with them, and run my palms over there rough to smooth surfaces and feel each glistening piece of stone on my skin.
I cant not yet, for i am still inside the tube travling fast to who knows where. If i shut my eyes i will see excactly the same as if i kept them open. Patterns of purple and blue, little flecks of ocean lapping waves, i try to pick out the pebbles, shapes begin to form and i once again try to understand am i dead or alive. How long have i been here, am i awake. Something shifted. Its like grains of sand have been falling over and over again in between panes of glass to reproduce mountain after mountain. I touch my hand and as i watch a strangers head merge into anothers i come to the conclusion this must be a dream.
Opposite me is the biggest tongue i have ever seen, absolutely smothered in tastebuds, that look like the ______ from a game of ______.
Naked bodies some co-joined togethor writhe about all over the tongue moving the tastebuds like stones from one pot-hole to another.
I have to sit on this tongue.
I take of my t-shirt and let my bare back lean onto the salivia. Its slippery and wet. If you were to rub your thumb over your own tongue, then imagine that your tongue had mushroomed in size and that your thumb was your back, then youll feel what it felt like then, lieing back into soft watery melon fruit.
I sunk into the tongue, which tipped itself like a dentists chair. Through the naked bodies i sank. My arms and legs became coiled up in red fleshy strands of plasma and i was covered in a strange pulp that began to cling all over my body and i floated then out of the tube in a mesh of shimmering white lights. They resembled the stars in the sky i had looked up at not so long-ago.
Now i was a streak of white, and all around there were others, the tube had gone and we where in the blackness.
I could hear the breath being pushed in and out of a stomach moving up and down, and also did i imagine, the sound of some sort of bellows like machine concertining in motion. In the background where the blips and bleeps of hospital machines.
I was now in two places at once, a part of me was a star shining above a house and another part of me fell out of the sky dropping down through the sky-light window on the roof of the house to land fully clothed on top of a bed.
The sound of breathing continued. In and out. Up and down. Then my body melted, it was like taking a leak all over, as if every cell in my body was having a beautifull piss. I became a puddle, completely liquid my legs sand feet ran off the end of bed like a waterfall, and the rest of me saturated into the matress, then the bed itself began to move the other way, the breathing stopped, all was silent, and everything moved, in a long slow gentle life time, time of way until it was gone, everything was gone, and i was awake in space, beautifull space where there was no time.

I arrived to late for the end of time
yet time a good friend told me
has no end
this is the story i listened to yesterday
let me tell you her voice said
all about the meaning of space and time
listen carefully to the stars at night
when you hear them singing
look up into their eyes
remember they are spiders
sitting spinning in the sky
now you never have to ask them why
or wonder what they are
for a lions face watches over you
no matter where you go or what you do
your an angel of the stars
wen, time waits in space
for you to ask


No noise or anything. This was where i had been trying to get to all along but i never knew it in the darkness. I was free and it lasted forever. Only forever, wasnt so long and way before i wanted the darkness to leave the stars came back, it was like the whole of space had been turned upside down and in loops the stars now fell from where they had been resting on the floor which now became ceiling.
It was strange because when my body melted it was as if i was nothing, no form shape density or feeling, even so this being the fist time where i truly had no existence it felt like the first time that i had ever existed and now as space flipped back on itself and the stars began to rain down oblitarating the darkness i once again took the form of a star.
I travelled faster and faster, here was no wind or rush, it was perpetual motion in free fall, i just got faster and faster, with no end to the increasing speed or the journey, it was alarming, but what could i do except lie back and enjoy the ride. At one point i thought the speed that the speed would reach a point where something would surely break, system malfunction. I heard a strange disgarbulated noise that i associate with serious computer error, a glitch in the matrix, a stitch in time, a wink.

Wet. We the stars landed in a pool of water. All of us formed shapes, first there was a snake that swam in zig zags this way and that before eating its own tail each bite produced more and more mess poison blood and guts spurted out of the snakes body into the water and formed globby tendrils, like the whisps of a poached egg, that came togethor beneath the surface of the water to make a pyramid.

The lights went out.

i was travling backwards in a tube for real the first thing music came back to me, was the music in a rush, songs pieced themselfs togethor out of nothing and entered into my head, long forgotten words poured ontop of each other, so many, far to many to count with each passing second, like a calediscope, swishing forth spectral rays of light spinning into each other like bone flying away with paper planes jig jagged then all done up as if id been sunken in a wallow of hooch, my arm pit was a hollow and my skin began to draw tight. All i needed was the candle night to lick just one lick on the back of a spoon to boil away to boil the rocks away into churches perfurme, my bodies free im released a junkie criminal. I could mend my broken heart pieces which had been torn apart in shock ripped to shreds by hands that i thought would always be there to keep me safe and warm
i was wrong and as i drifted into the floor boards, with the veins on my arms, turning into rivers, i could see where all the parts of my heart like ash from a funeral urn had been scattered and with a needle and thread i began to stictch them back togethor,
Time wore a white dress covered in tiny little red roses
She ran out of the door into the street at night, skipping over the white lines her lips were red like the roses of her dress.
Time ran on through on the night, until she came to a hill, and kept on running all the way from top to bottom, then time stopped.
Closed her eyes and began to walk backwards.
The snatches of songs the words piling up on top of each other the pieces of my torn heart all broken like a giant explosion a star blowing up in space, its fragments hurtling out in a million different directions started to go other way, the explosion began to pull in on itself so all off the the fragments retracted in and the star and my heart were put back togethor, this is when the words of songs became clear to me,
This is my body broken for you
i travel in a tube to gain your affection
just a needle in hay
time released your chains fall
because now ive touched you
its only forever
not long at all.